So, I'm in the middle of spring break. It's not quite going as I had thought that it would. You see, I had these great plans of getting caught up on my studying and getting things fixed on my laptop (a task I'm partially set up on... I have Fedora Core 6 installed upgraded to the latest Beryl release working on an nVidia chipset, but alas, my wifi card remains just out of reach). But, rather than getting a lot of things done, I've mostly sat on my couch watching [Scrubs], eating bad chinese food (but oh, so tasty) and feeling sorry for myself.I don't know what it is exactly... part of it stems from the fact that [girl I like] won't reply to my instant messages or call me back... part of it is me realizing [girl I like] really doesn't even consider me a friend anymore... and part of it is...
I'm lazy.
Yes, for those of you wondering, it is quite likely that graduate school is the cause of my laziness. You see, I spent all quarter in a continuous catch up mode... mainly because I put off doing things because I was tired from doing all the previous work. (You see the vicious cycle there?) So, now that I'm free to loaf about without any consequences, I find it hard to pull my act together and do the work that I need to do in order to NOT spend spring quarter in the same hectic way I spent the winter.
"But I don't wanna."
Putting things off is JUST. SO. EASY. That it almost feels as if I'm going against the natural order of things...
And I really need to get out of this self-deprecating funk I've been in lately.
This funk of which I speak is not entirely due to [girl], but I'm not going to lie to you, she's a big part of it. And there's the fact that I can't get any of my former friends to pay attention to me for fifteen minutes, let alone talk to them about what's going on.
Maybe it's for the best... perhaps whatever it is that's going to kick me out of the uneasy funk is also going to make me realize that these newly former friends are former for a reason, and that it's time for me to move on...
